There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You may now shotgun with the bride
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
