i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
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In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
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So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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