This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
