This girl is more easily done than said...
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
