8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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