I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
