Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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