am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
