she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
