I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
