Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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