Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
