everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
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I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
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His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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