And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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