...so i touched it.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
