Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
