OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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