Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
