Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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