I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
