omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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