sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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