What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Randomize
