You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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