I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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