and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
