Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
