and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
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