I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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