I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
