North Korea, Best Korea!
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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