Kareoke will never be a sober sport
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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