hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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