speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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