so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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