You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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