My hair reeks of homosexuality.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
