you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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