You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize