My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
