And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
