Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
