new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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