Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize