tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
