Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
