girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
