yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
