I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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