the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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