that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
