Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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