I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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