who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize