We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
