Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
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He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
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No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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