if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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