I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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