Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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