Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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