Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
