where am i from again
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
