u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
