Do vagina's smell?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
