Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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