There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
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The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
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So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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