my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
