i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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