If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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