If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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