I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
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The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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