Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
