Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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